You got promoted. So did your imposter syndrome. Just because you’re moving up, doesn't mean the doubts get left behind. But you can learn to manage them. Just ask any recovering addict.

What LinkedIn job updates would look like if people told the truth.

What do CEOs, founders, middle managers, administrators, bankers, salespeople, coaches, doctors, teachers, men, women, public speakers, introverts, extroverts, alpha types, wallflowers, Europeans, Americans,, Tedx-ers, and even LinkedIn Top Voices all have in common?

They have all, at some point in their lives, experienced something like imposter syndrome. I guarantee it. My evidence for this? I spend my time talking with people in every single one of those groups and they have all talked to me about this showing up in their lives in one form or another.

So imposter syndrome isn’t something that is only experienced by certain types of people. In fact, it’s just as likely to be the dominant voice in the room, the one who shouts everyone else down, who appears outwardly to be completely self-assured, as it is to be the quiet one in the corner who never says much at all.

Let’s start with some definitions, and also make it clear what imposter syndrome isn’t. The American Journal of Psychiatry has defined it, brilliantly, as “a behavioral health phenomenon described as self-doubt of intellect, skills, or accomplishments among high-achieving individuals, (and) frequently associated with anxiety and burnout”.

Sounds familiar? Of course it does. You’ve felt that. I’ve felt that. We’ve all felt that. If you’re denying it, then you probably have some other ego-related disorder which is masking your imposter syndrome. Same thing in the end, just a more expensive therapy bill.

But I digress. A couple of important things to note in this definition. One, it’s a behavioral phenomenon - not a developmental or neurological disorder per se. And two, it derives not from external factors, but from internal stories (“self-doubt”) we tell ourselves in certain situations.

If we accept those two elements within the definition, then that suggests - powerfully - that we ourselves hold the keys to overcome it.

A couple of quick scenarios. If these don’t sound familiar, then either I’m not a very good coach, or I’m not a very good writer. Either of those things could be true, of course. So here goes:

1/ You spent a few years seeking the validation of a promotion to prove that you belonged at the table. “If I was a Director / VP / etc then everyone would take me more seriously”. Only to find that when that promotion did come along, that voice in your mind saying you don’t belong, you’re not good enough, you’re going to get found out was actually louder than before, because now the stakes are higher, your anxiety is higher, and part of you wishes you were back where you were before because at least not so many people noticed when you screwed up.

2/ You frequently find yourself the minority in the room and let that become the whole story about your identity, your competency, your very being. “I can’t speak up, I’m on my own here, nobody will be with me, it’s not worth the risk”. So you stay quiet, your contribution plateaus, your ideas plateau, your career plateaus…etc.

The same things are happening in each of these scenarios. Firstly, you’re telling yourself a story that just might not be true. And secondly, you have become a self-fulfilling prophecy. I will fail at this becomes I failed because you stopped contributing. You stopped doing the things you had done up until that point which had brought you success and recognition. And everyone said (behind your back, not to your face, because how often do people really give you the feedback you needed to hear, honestly?) He/she just vanished, used to be so effective, so great at their job, guess it was just one promotion too many.

In a nutshell, you are self-sabotaging.

You - and nobody else - are bringing about the thing you most fear in your career: being stuck. Failing to achieve your ambitions. Being typecast at a certain level, doomed to remain average.

Except, you know you’re not average.

So don’t let those stories take root. Because there is another way.

James Stewart as George Bailey in Frank Capra’s It’s a Wonderful Life. No better case study for imposter syndrome. Set himself impossible standards. Downplayed his achievements. Internalised blame for his mistakes. Almost jumped off a bridge as a result.

It stands to reason that a behavioral phenomenon could be alleviated using behavioral therapeutic techniques.

Recently, I have been supporting someone very close to me through their recovery from addiction.

It has been a tough, beautiful, sad, and inspiring journey, sometimes all at the same time. But I’m happy to report that as of right now, he is doing great. Not because of anything I did, obviously, but because of a process of self-learning and growth he has had to go through. Therapists, addiction counsellors, friends, family, random strangers - it takes a lot of different types of conversations to get to where he is right now. But I was lucky enough to be in the room when he discovered one of the most powerful tools he has found so far.

It was in a group setting. The facilitator was talking about self-sabotage, and limiting beliefs. As I discussed above, these are things we all experience from time to time, but they are definitely real when it comes to addictions.

And if we can’t take inspiration from some of the toughest human experiences that exist and apply them to our own situations, we’re missing out on some of the hardest-won lessons there are.

The addict who tells himself he’s not enough, and spirals into self-sabotage? It’s the same thing (with different consequences) as your own situation; the one where you tell yourself you’re not enough, or don’t deserve something, or don’t have the experience, and so self-sabotage in a different way.

Smart people who lead conversations in this area (Bartlett, Peterson, Robbins, Williamson…another Robbins…just ask me for the references) all say different versions of the same thing: imposter syndrome doesn’t really exist. It’s just you getting in your own way. You’re not incapable; you’re inexperienced. In a way, it shows you are competent, because you admit that you don’t know everything, and you know what you don’t know - which makes you competent, and will lead you to further competence.

All of which is just another way of explaining the tool my friend found in that addiction counselling session: the ABCs of cognitive behavioural therapy:

A is the Activating event (you get feedback, a promotion, a new role)

B is the Belief (even though you’re pumped, your inner voice says, “I don’t deserve this.”)

C is the Consequence (anxiety, paralysis, overwork, self-sabotage)

Most of us try to change the A or the C. We chase more achievements or beat ourselves up for not feeling confident. But the leverage point is B — the belief. That’s the pattern you have to rewrite.

What belief are you carrying about the situation? This is the story you are telling yourself. It probably isn’t true.

What happens if you flip that story around?

I don’t deserve this becomes I have earned this and I have an opportunity to learn even more.

I should keep my mouth shut, I’m the only one who looks like me in here becomes I’m here because this situation needs a different perspective.

I’m out of my depth becomes I’m thriving.

That imposter voice will still be there. It’s a tenacious, conniving piece of work. But you do have the authority and the means to tell it to shut the **** up.

Try it.

See what happens.